The Waxed Latina Game

Okay, take this lifesaving test. Which is the Real Garcia, which is the fake?

 

Can you discern the real ChrissyAgui?

 

How about la verdadera Shakira?

[Image Credit]

Welcome Emme and Max

So Yeni and Marky decided to name their newborns Emme and Max  the English equivalents of Emmelina and Maximiano.  

ChrissyAgui also named her son Max, leaving the imagination running all salvaje with one question: did Yeni and ChrissyAgui buy the same baby naming book?

[Source]

Christina’s Rack

Did ChrissyAgui get bitten by a scorpion? Did her rack get stung by bees.

 

There’s got to be a good explanation for this. Here she is on her way to dinner the other night. It’s a sure bet, that her rack got there a good minute before she did.

Christina and Naked Domingos

Every family has their little traditions. In the ChrissyAgui-Bratman familia, there’s one too. A rather peculiar one:

“We have to be the cosiest couple around. We have something called naked Sundays. On Sundays we just do everything in the house, and we’re just cosy and laid back.We don’t need to go anywhere, we’re just with each other. We do everything naked. We cook naked. It’s important to keep the marriage alive, to spice it up a little.”

Say what? First those penile balloons, and now this? Wonder how Maxito will turn out.

Christina Aguilera and “Those” Things

ChrissyAgui was on the Ellen Degeneres show yesterday, along with those things she calls her mammaries.

Looks like she’s outgrown the D-cup and is heading directly to H, thanks to Baby Maxito.

Click here to watch a clip of her appearance.

[Images XTW via TS]

Christina Aguilera, Designer’s Muse

ChrissyAgui has dropped that baby and she’s wasting no time. Even with that million-stash for selling the pics of her Baby Max to People, ChrissyAgui ain’t resting.

 

 Her latest venture? Not really hers, but she’ll get some stash out of it I’m certain. Well, turns out she inspired jewelry designer [and celebrity suck-up] Stephen Webster. The price tags on these babies? About $343-3528. My advice to you hissipers: drive yourself to your nearest Walmart and get some imitations.

Christina Aguilera and Child

Looks like People Magazine won the bidding war for first pics of ChrissyAgui’s creatura.

Max looks so cute. He reminds me of those little babies in those Anne Geddes book in the album and picture frame aisle at Ross. A month old and counting, Maxito is certainly bringing out the motherly side of ChrissyAgui:

“I can’t stop staring at him, studying him. You can’t believe you created this. Me and my husband couldn’t be happier.”

[this image CB via DL]  

International stardom, platinum-selling CDs and hot DVDs aside, ChrissyAgui is convinced that Max is her most wonderful accomplishment:

“You think you’ve accomplished all these

Christina Aguilera’s Penis-themed Baby Christening

We all know that ChrissyAgui is on the edgy side, but I really thought that motherhood would mellow that chica out. Turns out that Chrissy had penis balloons all over little Max Liron’s nursery to welcome him from his Jewish circumcision.

“It was a very sweet experience; we had a lot of close friends come over and experience the bris with us. We’re such a non-conventional couple, we had a lot of penis balloons everywhere.”

I’m speechless. For once.

[Source]

Grammys Latino Style: Christina and Juan Luis Guerra

It was a bad night for ChrissyAgui. While she looked like a Sabine woman in her gorgeous dress, she wasn’t a winner in any of the categories she was nominated. Like her duet with Tony Bennett from the Duets: An American Classic album. And she lost the Best Female Pop Vocal Performance Grammy for “Candyman” to Narcotics girl Amy Cokehouse for the Best Female Vocal Performance.

 

Who needs a Grammy anyway, though, when you can look this good in a Ungaro, in less than 6 months after dropping baby?

Oh, mira: it’s Juan Luis Guerra, winning yet another award. Juanito, get yourself a stylist, okay. Get a trim on that hair. For a minute there, I thought this was a file photo of Pavorotti.

Out and About

Mira! It’s a quite voluptuous ChrissyAgui at the the Broad Contemporary Art Museum opening at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art over the weekend.

Guess little Max is at home, whinning and crying with the well-paid nanna.

 

She looks good that ChrissyAgui. This, I gotta say. And that rack of hers looks a little swollen. Did Little Max have a feeding, right before this outing?