Desperate Wife Got an Ugly Bag

Here is E.Lo at the Westfield County, Texas, showing her support for Hilary Clinton.

 

And look at that sack, um, purse. Que feo, no?

Eva Longoria Defends Gabrielle Solis

Someone with a Bible could pin down Gabrielle Solis’s rupture of all the ten commandments over the last couple of seasons of “Desperate Housewives”, even the woman who plays her E.Lo.

“I wouldn’t like me very much if I did all those things to my girlfriends. I think Marc Cherry [the show's writer] writes these evil, evil things but in a light, fun way with great physical comedy aspects to it. I don’t know why people like her but I’m really glad [they] do.”

Yeah? You wouldn’t have a career otherwise. We see how you’re always whining, and you have a big stash, a fine husband, and plenty of designers sucking up. Wonder where the whining meter would be, if that wasn’t the case. 

Eva Longoria’s Crushing

Looks like E.Lo has a crush. And it ain’t on marido Tony Parker. The hyphenated misssus confessed that she has a crush on…

Eva Longoria Gets No Love From PETA

E.Lo might be the apple of Tony Parker’s eyes, but she’s not getting any carino from animal rights organization PETA. The organization placed her on their list of 2008 worst-dressed celebrities, saying:

“Eva Longoria is short on compassion. In her trashy furs, she looks like the streetwalker of Wisteria Lane. Eva is one “desperate housewife” in need of a quickie divorce – from her stylist.”

Whoo. That ain’t cold. That’s frigid. E.Lo if you want to evade all that hate don’t go around in those Basso coats, yokay?

Latinas on AskMen’s 99 Sexiest Women Countdown

AskMen.com did their annual 99 Sexiest Women countdown and not suprisingly, a lot of Latinas made the list. Those who made the list? I’ve filtered everyone else, so here’s the Latino-friendly list:

#79 Ana De La Reguera. Not a bad choice. According to the website, the sultry Mexican actress earned a 91% on her sexiness report card. 

The site drooled: “engaging brown eyes, perfect complexion, cascading locks, and unforgettable figure… ole”

But how did #78 Nadine Velazquez get a 93% from readers against Ana’s 84%. Go fig. Click on to read the see the other ladies who topped the countdown.

Eva’s Motherhood Hopes for Jessica

Jessica Alba is going to be a great mother.

 

 At least that’s what Eva Longoria’s mommy radar senses. During a gushfest that had people me wondering whether E.Lo was the newly appointed publicist for the relationship of La Alba and Cash Warren, Evasita said:

“She’s going to be amazing!She has to be one of the most compassionate, loving people you’ve ever met, and she is going to raise the most awesome human being in this world!”
Oh, brother.

[Source]

Eva Longoria Rocks the Red Carpet at the SAG Awards

Ooh, E.Lo’s looking great. The hair and jewelry I mean. That dress looks like it’s just hanging. The fabric reminds me of those rectanble tablecloths my grandmother puts on her dining room table on Palm Sunday. That sleepy vixen pose and gaze looks good and the dress makes the best of her back rack… at least.

    

Eva Longoria Baby Bump Shopping

Eva Longoria was caught buying baby clothes. No, they’re not for her, but for her amijita Jennifer Lopez. As if Yeni needed any more baby stuff.

 

Speaking about her own eventual plans for motherhood with husband Tony Parker, E.Lo told the British press:

“We’re so happy if we get pregnant, and if we don’t, we’re okay.  We’re just letting God decide it.”
In the meantime, guess she’s getting some good training in baby clothes shopping.

[Source]

Eva Longoria Building a Nest?

Tony Parker wants to have a few juniors and juniorettes with his wife Eva Longoria.  Says Eva:

“Tony wants his children to be able to see him play… and I’d like lots of little TP juniors.”

Meanwhile, Eva is giving the hand to pregnancy rumors.

“We’ve [the TV writing world] been on strike, so I’ve been home in Texas. I’ve gained 10 pounds just cooking and eating.”

It’s cooking fat, okay. Not baby (bump) fat.

[Source]

Eva Longoria Laxing with Exercisin’

Not that she has the ring on her finger and is known in social circles as Mrs. Tony Parker, Eva Longoria has been neglecting the treadmill:

“Now that I’m married, I don’t have to try so hard,” The Times of India quotes Mrs. Parker as saying.

 

Girl, you still got some of those New Year’s Eve martinis-vodka cocktail streaming in your cerebrum?…You better work it.

 Just ’cause that whole Alexandra Paressant story turned out to be fallacious does not mean you have to let go of the b-o-d-y.

Eva says that she never exercised to look good for her man in the first place.   “I grew up as an athlete, so I wanted to be strong and healthy, not so much thin and beautiful. So that’s not what I work out for.”

Reporter: Tony Didn’t Cheat on Eva

…at least not with French model Alexandra Paressant.  According to a People reporter/investigator, evidence has exonerated Parker, as Paressant is pathological liar. She made up everything, including photos, and of course the story about her having a passionate fling with Eva Longoria’s husband Tony Parker. A childhood friend of Paressant’s interviewed told reporter Dana Kennedy: “She was never happy in her own skin. She never thought she was pretty enough. She was troubled. It was like she felt she didn’t really exist.”

She was so unhappy, it seems, that she resorted to fabricating fantasy stories? She suffers from some personality disorder? Any psychotherapists out there? Help me out.

Apparently, Ms. Paressant herself isn’t real. The U.S. modeling agency representing her, had never had a face-to-face with her. What’s more the pics that have been circulating of her, are not even of her. But Tony won’t be off the hook that easily. If he’s not cheating with Alexandra, he’ll be cheating with someone. Mark my words.

 [Source]

Eva Longoria’s Marido Sues X17

Dios Mio. Tony Parker is not satisfied with just verbally denying the rumor that he cheated on his wife Eva Longoria with French model Alexandra Paressant. He’s now suing X17, the online photo and news magazine website who originally broke the story. He’s of course doing what any lying, cheating husband would do, take the attention away from himself, and distracting his dissed wife. Parker is seeking $20 million. In the lawsuit, the NBA star’s lawyers state, “Tony Parker has never had sexual relations with a woman named Alexandra Paressant.”

 

Now doesn’t this line sound a little too verbatim from former President Clinton’s own denial about Monica Lewisnky a few years back?  

Face it Eva: Tony is a Cheater

Mark these words: in your mind, on the wall, on a post-it, text it to yourself and save it as a draft: Tony Parker and Eva Longoria will break up.

 

Remember the claims of the French model Alexandra Paressant that Hissip posted a few days ago in which the French model claimed that she had an affair with Eva’s boo Tony Parker that was consumated in Paris in September? Well, the plot thickens. Now that TonEva have both denied her claims, she’s bringing evidence to the forefront, including her creepin’ plane ticket.  Looks like Eva doesn’t only play a Desperate Housewife on TV. Tony is 25 and an NBA player, a bad combination. Pobre Eva.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker Camp: Ain’t No Humpin’ Going Around

French model Alexandra Paressant is telling the media that she had an affair with Tony Parker, Eva Longoria’s husband right after their marriage. It started out with some text messaging sex and was finally consummated with a  full-blown sexual encounter in Paris.

Tony denies he’s cheated. Longoria for her part told OK:  “Tony has been nothing short of the perfect husband. And of course there was the actress’s publicist’s strategized statement:  “These allegations are completely 100% false and untrue. All high-profile couples fall victim to these sorts of things in the course of their relationships.” But is Alexandra Paressant a liar?

Pobre Eva. Those actress-singer athletes romances just don’t seem to last. Remember Mariah Carey and Derek Jeeter?

Comedian Marilyn Martinez Dies

 

Comedian Marilyn Martinez died of colon cancer. She was 52. Condolences to her husband John David Crowder.

So, who was she? I sure didn’t know until I read her obituary in The New York Times. Turns out, she was quite a character, a trail-blazer too. She made appearances in Pauly Shore is Dead, My Wife and Kids and even on the SiTv reality show Urban Jungle. What was most interesting about her, however, was that she was a comedienne with sass. She was part of a Latina troupe called Hot and Spciy Mamitas and was also a member of the Hot Tamales with future Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria. Her style was very avant-garde, especially for a Latina. Discussing her riske comedian routine, comedian Carlos Mencia told the Associated Press “She was getting away with saying a lot of crazy stuff. It wasn’t like ‘I’m a woman and let’s talk about flowers and shopping’ But she could do clean if you wanted her to.”  She will rest in peace.